mytoecold: A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it. I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.” I wrote this: Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me. Love, Drew
urbancatfitters: everyone is embarrassed of their fourteen year old self trust me if you’re fourteen right now you will regret whatever it is that you are doing at this moment
gnarly: my computer screen is brighter than my future
when your best friend is called up for an award or...
What I actually say: I find serial killers interesting.
What other people hear: I am a serial killer.
nintooner: in PE we had to write assertive responses to pressuring statements when you don’t want to have sex with somebody and I’m sorry
bandbutts: If masturbating while stoned isn’t called weed whacking I don’t know how to live my life anymore
ianthe: schmergo: ianthe: nothing grape flavored is flavored like grapes it’s just flavored like other grape flavored things and this is why I have trust issues FUN FACT: Grape artificial flavor was the first artificial flavor created, by accident. That means that some guy decided, “Whoa, this smells a lot like grapes,” and now everyone pretends it’s grape-y, too… It tastes like an...
partybarackisinthehousetonight: if you’re ever feeling lazy just remember that the ancient greeks believed their gods lived on top of a very climbable hill but no one even bothered to check
masasexual: marciewantsthev: masasexual: Imagine that you’re awkwardly sitting there at a formal dance when suddenly you see a hand extended towards you. ”May I have this dance?” they ask. You look up, and find that it’s your favorite character. Imagine that favorite character then fucking you so hard that night that you don’t think you’ll be able to stand the next morning.
sodamnrelatable: when you see your parent come home from the grocery store
sfux: i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
trillow: i got 99 problems and i can’t remember any of them so i guess that makes a hundred
snazziest: I’m reading your palm and it says it belongs on my butt